Trends We Should Leave in 2018

DNA Kits:

How about you trace your lineage using a family tree with your last name and your mother’s maiden name like the rest of us and stop willingly submitting your DNA to an international database?

Meal Prepping:

It’s a waste of time, because you spend the same amount of time cooking and meal prepping. If you decide to cook instead you could cook something you actually want that day, and by the end of the week that stuff is NOT fresh anymore. Ew.

Pete Davidson:

He’s not funny. He’s crude. He’s disrespectful… why are we paying him ANY attention?

“Wig”:

It doesn’t make sense, it sounds ratchet, and what’s so hard about giving an honest compliment to something you like?

Grey’s Anatomy:

Honestly, the most crime-ridden place is the hospital in this show. Random mass shootings, power outages that kill patients – anything that can go wrong will go wrong – oh, and everyone you love will die. I was done when they killed off Jeffrey Dean Morgan for no reason other than to make us watch Katherine Heigl cry about it for 12 more episodes.

musical.ly:

What is so entertaining about watching people lip sync 10 second long sections of the biggest pop hits? I don’t even understand it.

Vaping:

You know what’s super cool? Ingesting an entire pack of cigarettes in just 60 minutes of vaping, purposely putting Arsenic and Propylene Glycol (Antifreeze) directly into your lungs, developing an oil lining in your lungs (slowly drowning yourself), AND developing a nicotine dependency at a young age. Oh, and Juul users – you look like you’re sucking on a USB drive.

Slime:

I don’t understand… did Nickelodeon make a comeback with their slime? I mean, it’s so 1999, and what’s the purpose? Wasn’t the dream of winning a spot on Nick’s slime games show enough?

 

“Stan”:

Okay, so this term comes from a hella old Eminem song of the same name, and what it breaks down into is “stalker fan”, which is NOT a positive connotation!

Cold Pressed Juice/Juice Shots:

Can we go back to the good old days when we went to Smoothie King and Jamba Juice for our extra dose of fruit, nutrients, vitamins, and protein? Now  I have to look at a bunch of colorful bottles with some kind of *clever* name on it, and there’s no assurance that it won’t taste like a V8 mixed with black pepper and apple cider vinegar. Also, can we go back to *eating* healthy spices like cayenne, turmeric, and ginger instead of taking a tiny bottle of brightly colored liquid that’s LOADED with some type of pepper? Sidebar – nobody has ever taken one of these “juice shots” and looked happy about it afterwards.

Chris Evans:

I’m just really sick of the whole hot-and-cold game he plays with Marvel. Says he doesn’t want to be Captain anymore, so we think Civil War will end the way the comics intended, but Cap doesn’t die and Chris says he’ll do more movies, then says he doesn’t want to, so we think he’ll be gone with the Thanos snap in Infinity War – but nope, he’s one of the select few that live. Also, he owes EVERYTHING to Marvel, seeing as he was Johnny Storm in Fantastic Four first. Personally, I hate it when a celebrity gets to play two major characters in the same “universe”. I’m ready for a new Captain.

Hipster Baby Names:

Natalie? Never heard of her. Daniel? Who’s that? Nope – this generation is naming their babies some ridiculous things. Celebrities aren’t helping with North West, Saint West, Stormi Webster, etc. You know how much River Phoenix and Blanket Jackson were made fun of? That’s nothing compared to Juniper, Clementine, Wren, Bear, Fitz, and Edison.

13 Reasons Why:

Should we have a way to be able to openly talk about depression, sexual assault, bullying, and suicide? Absolutely. Should suicide be glorified and even justified to young, impressionable minds on Netflix? Should it have been renewed after a number of viewers DID commit suicide after watching it? Should Season 2 have featured a horrific and graphic rape scene of a gay teen? Should it have been renewed when it showed a school shooter right after the largest school shooting in U.S. History? No. Let’s find a better way to talk about these subjects without Hollywood-ing them to the youth.

Snapchat:

We all know Snapchat was ruined with that ONE update, and it only seems to get worse and worse with its “popular stories” page, let alone “Snapchat News”. Also, can get get rid of that damn dog filter?

Jeffree Star:

I’m all for hella talented make up artists… It’s just that Jeffree has tattoos legit EVERYWHERE (even on his face), no eyebrows, an ever-changing wig, super over-the-top makeup looks, unwavering self-confidence, and an UGLY personality.

“asdfkl”:

Alright Gen-Z, you’re supposed to give us hope for the future. Can you really not think of another way to express yourself when you’re freaking out or you’re frustrated other than randomly typing gibberish?

Cryptocurrency:

TBH I’m just tired of the words “Bitcoin” and “Crypto” being thrown around. Also, why would you invest in an ONLINE currency that could be hacked or could just disappear? IT’S NOT TANGIBLE AND I DON’T TRUST IT.

Almost-Nude Selfies:

It’s not a tease, it’s not being “bold” or “edgy”, it’s just kind of like ???

Post-Apocalyptic Movies:

2018 was full of them, mostly having to do with depriving us of some type of sense.. The first big “hit” being “A Quiet Place” which was incredible – but you couldn’t talk or the monsters would kill you. Then “Bird Box” came out and you can’t see or the monsters will kill you. What’s next? You can’t taste or you’ll die? You can’t hear or you’ll die? Enough. Let’s leave “A Quiet Place” as being freaking amazing, okay?

Demi Lovato:

I get it – she was a body positive icon, she’s got a powerful voice, she struggled with addiction and even OD’d… but I just think she’s overrated. Maybe I’m being insensitive. Probably. I don’t care.

vsco:

What’s with Gen-Z’ers and these shitty filters with like dust and scratches on their pictures? And no, I will not follow you on vsco. Take the link out of your bio.

Speeches given with a filter:

I MIGHT want to hear what you have to say, but I definitely don’t want to hear it anymore when you’re using a snapchat filter that gives you a chipmunk voice. It’s annoying and any honest point you may have made was lost in that awful delivery.

Aphorisms:

I use empowering quotes to get by just as much as the next girl, but we’ve gone a bit over the top with the whole “you matter” and “if it’s not okay it’s not the end” stuff. Can’t you just pin your aphorisms on Pinterest like the rest of us?

______phobia:

I’m pretty sure Buzzfeed is SOLELY to blame here, but before all these BS articles of “____phobia is real, and you probably have it”, we were all just afraid of spiders, sharks, and losing a loved one. Now, in the political world there’s “islamophobia”, “transphobia”, “homophobia”… and now there are thousands and thousands of people who think that they have “Thalassophobia” (fear of the sea), “Bathophobia” (fear of the deep), and “Trypophobia” (fear of small holes or bubbles).

Polaroids:

Think about it. Previous generations would have DIED to have the type of photography we have today in the palm of our hand, but we want to buy some overpriced polaroid camera with overpriced film just to have shitty picture quality like them. It’s dumb. Appreciate that smartphone camera.

TV Shows and Movies named after a race:

“Dear White People”, “Blackish”, “Crazy Rich Asians” – these tend to be straight up racist, only funny/good to one demographic, or they claim to be inclusive while actually being the exact opposite. It’s extremely hypocritical. You can’t shame the industry for under-representing Asians, then make a movie starring ONLY Asians. I’m surprised SJWs weren’t boycotting and asking where the “Crazy Rich Hispanics” movie was. If we made a movie called “White Privilege” where it was a bunch of white people flaunting a lavish lifestyle, everyone involved would be blacklisted. Let’s stop dividing ourselves and actually ACT EQUAL if we want equality.

Ariana Grande:

“Thank u, Next” is how I feel about Ariana. TBH she’s crazy talented and funny, but the “real Ariana” got lost somewhere in the fame and now doesn’t show off those pipes in ANY songs and she’s fully embraced the “Diva” persona. It’s a shame, and it’s time to give somebody else a turn.

Numbered Balloons for a grown birthday:

GIRL. You’re 30. Stop holding up a giant helium filled “3” “0” with some “cute” outfit on. Those balloons were made for children. If I have to see another insta-model with silver/gold/rose gold balloons for some cheesy birthday post I’m deleting Instagram.

Going out at 10 pm:

Why does the “nightlife” world insist on me leaving my house at 10 pm and not getting back until 3 or 4 am? Can we all just decide that the “going out” time is going to be 8 pm from now on so I can get home at 1 am?

“Bop”:

When you say “bop” my mind goes straight to Barney. What happened to complimenting a song instead of calling it a bop?

Meghan Markle:

I don’t understand the obsession with the royal family at all – but Meghan was a Suitcase Girl on Deal or No Deal, then was a B-List actress with a bad attitude. To this day, she refuses to follow some of the royal “code”. And STOP saying “It’s a fairytale! She’s a princess!” No she’s not! She’s a DUCHESS.

The “kickass women” theme in entertainment:

Don’t get me wrong, I love “Atomic Blonde”, “Ocean’s 8”, and Rhonda Rousey/Gina Carano in the Fast and Furious movies… but this year it seems that feminism kind of plagued the movie industry. With “The Girl in the Spider’s Web”, “The Spy Who Dumped Me”, “Wonder Woman”, “Breaking In”, “House of Cards”, and “Peppermint” – it just got to be a bit much. I love badass women, but where are the classy/cutesy feminine roles?

“Spin Class”:

Or “Cyclebar” or whatever – there’s no way that going into a room full of stationary bikes with an overly enthusiastic instructor barking commands at you is “fun” or “addicting”. Plus, I’m sorry, but it’s just cardio. You have to lift some actual weights to build any muscle or get any level of tone, ladies (and gents).

Over-hyping music video releases:

Okay, so Taylor Swift kind of started this, rightfully so, with her comeback, ultimate revenge track, “Look What You Made Me Do”, but the whole thing for “No Tears Left To Cry” and “Thank u, Next”, “Breathin’”, “Formation”, “Apeshit”, Drake’s “God’s Plan”, and definitely “This is America”… it seemed like a damn sin to not be refreshing YouTube feverishly when they were announced.

“KYS”:

When is it EVER okay to tell somebody to kill themselves? It’s not okay in person, on the phone, over text, and it’s definitely not an acceptable response to something you don’t like on social media.

Accusing everyone of incest:

People, you’ve got to stop getting mad about a cute, happy family posting pictures of themselves. First, it was President Trump and Ivanka, then Scott Disick going on a daddy-daughter date with his daughter, then it went as far as EDITED VIDEO of Jason Momoa to make it seem like he was inappropriately touching his daughter. ENOUGH. Let a happy family be happy and loving.

Onesies on Adults:

It’s one thing if it’s a costume, but if you’re proudly posting on IG about your onesie that you love – and especially if you’re wearing it in public – I’m judging you. Grow up.

Pretending that women support women:

They don’t. Generally speaking. I don’t know if it’s primal, or if we are just incapable of truly hoping/wishing the best for other women – but we are NOT rooting for each other. Think we are? Watch ANY movie – Mean Girls, Sisters, Neighbors 2, Life of the Party, Dumplin’… There’s a recurring theme for a reason. Girls don’t like other girls, and any girl who tells you otherwise is lying. Oh, and there is no “Girl Code” – it’s every (wo)man for themselves out there.

Coachella:

I don’t care what the lineup is, or how “amazing” California supposedly is – there’s no way that Coachella lives up to the hype. You’ll never catch me in a boho-chic, almost-naked outfit, wearing gems on my cheekbones and collarbones, throwing a peace sign in the air and wearing a completely useless mini backpack.

Unhealthy Obsession with the “Stranger Things” kids:

Yeah, we all wish we had the powers that Eleven does, and the acting skills of all these kids – but can we stop wishing that Millie and Finn would date? They’re JUST KIDS – and though they’re growing up before our eyes – it’s pretty creepy to start having a freakout when we see what Millie’s wearing on the red carpet. We can all acknowledge that she’s gorgeous and extremely talented WITHOUT crossing a line.

Amy Schumer:

She’s not funny, she peaked during “Last Comic Standing”, and MAYBE “Trainwreck”, but it was all downhill from there with “The Leather Special”, “Snatched”, and “I Feel Pretty”. Now that she’s married and pregnant she can kindly hobble off under whatever bridge she emerged from.

“#blessed”:

I hate this because it’s not taking accountability for your life, or thanking anyone directly – if you want to thank God, do that. If YOU made this awesome life for yourself, OWN it. If someone gifted this to you, thank them. “Hashtag blessed” is over.

Mermaids:

Ladies, there is so many things wrong with the whole “I’m actually a mermaid” or “Mermaid at Heart” or “I’d rather be a mermaid”. We can do better. If you need more information, I recommend you watch Iliza’s “Confirmed Kills” on Netflix.

Memes/Jokes about Anxiety and Depression:

These are serious issues, and it’s okay to joke about them to an extent – but if you haven’t been diagnosed, don’t say things like, “That gives me anxiety.” No, that thing makes you nervous, something cannot “give you” anxiety. It belittles those of us who are actually struggling with it.

Unicorns:

They don’t exist, they’re really not even that cool, and I’m tired of seeing “Unicorn Snot” bottled as a sparkly body wash. There are much cooler mythical creatures, like a Pegasus, a Centaur, Dragons, and even a real one – a narwhal!!

Making Everything about Women:

Women are awesome, but not everything needs to be centered around them. Seriously. Awards Shows. Razors. Advertisements. The only way that we will ever truly be treated equally is if we start ACTING equally, and that means STOP demanding special treatment.